Ever feel the need to fill that lonely void in your life? You should get a pet. As a life-altering decision, its imperative that you make it count, and unless you are a weird freak, the only pets worth considering are cats and dogs. It is my duty as a journalist and scholar to gift you my unbiased opinion on your pet dilemma.
 
Pros of a cat:

• You can ignore them
• Poops inside
• Sometimes tolerates you
• Does that thing where they lay down all cute

Cons of a cat:

• It is socially acceptable for them to beat you up
• Never your friend
• Have poison in their claws
• Will destroy your house
• Hates you

 
Pros of a dog:

• Will always want to play
• Indefinitely positive
• Promote a healthy lifestyle
• Love you forever
• Cute all the time
• You can actually pet them

Cons of a dog:

• You have to see the sun
• Smiling too much
• Protects your house too much *bark bark*