Disclaimer: all quotes in this article are fictional.
With the vast expanse of campus to themselves for the duration of quarantine, the infamous Westridge squirrels wondered what they might do with all their extra time. Gone were the days of crawling into backpacks, enjoying complimentary buffets, and wiggling into PA2.
Without lunches to eat and students to bother, the squirrels knew they had to improvise. The absence of the Tokyo Summer Olympics prompted one squirrel, who prefers to remain anonymous, to “foster a place of community and gathering that would shed light on the positives in these unprecedented times.”
Said squirrel soon rallied the troops together and proposed the idea of a fully functioning, miniature Olympic Village right on our very own campus.
The task was daunting, but the scurry was up for the challenge, and they immediately began delegating roles.
Within several months, the softball diamond had been renovated to provide housing for the athletes, some of whom are currently competing in sports such as water skiing.
Coach Horn’s office was demolished to make room for a five-star restaurant with an open-concept kitchen. The chef is a world-renowned cook who was featured in the 2007 film Ratatouille.
Along with the countless amenities, one of which includes a 7 squirrel elevator to the gym rafters where competitors can take a load-off and play some put-put, architects were adamant that countless nutcrackers be installed across the village. One such nutcracker was recently added to the Seven Wonders of the World, making it the first rodent-built structure in the updated octet.
In the early stages of Olympic Village development, technicians succeeded in turning on water and power at the village, bringing heat to the swimming pool, located in the former long jump pit.
I had a chance to catch up with the General Manager of Pasadena Water and Power (PWP), Gurcharan Bawa, who said, “I had never received a request like this. I was surprised to open my mailbox one day and find a 2x1 sticky note with a proposal for water and power at the Olympic Village on Frank Field. I must say this was quite a challenge, but then again, anyone who voluntarily chooses this line of work cannot complain.”
With minor renovations still in the works, the Village will not be ready for another twenty days or so. In the meantime, we hope the photos we snapped at the construction site do this magnificent little world justice.