Disclaimer #1: as you probably guessed, all quotes, stories, and claims made in this article are fictional.
Disclaimer #2: many island nations are sinking because climate change makes water levels rise at disproportionate rates. You can learn more about this serious and not satirical phenomenon here.
You thought everything that could’ve gone wrong this year had gone wrong. But 2020 has one more surprise for us: as of reports this morning, Hawaii has disappeared. The islands are nowhere to be found. Geologists and physicists alike have no insight into where the island state has gone, but they expect its small size led to its demise.
Surprisingly, Hawaiian residents expected the disaster. One particularly outspoken hippy, reeking of patchouli, stated "we're so far off the coast, American news sources rarely report on our affairs. Thank God someone has the sense to cover this story." She went on: "we've known of this phenomenon for a long time. Once in a while, the high tides from full moons just cover us right up."
Luckily, the population of Hawaii has adapted to the monthly fear of sinking islands, and they simply live on their surfboards for a few hours as they wait for the tides to go down and for their island home to return.
Disclaimer #2: many island nations are sinking because climate change makes water levels rise at disproportionate rates. You can learn more about this serious and not satirical phenomenon here.
You thought everything that could’ve gone wrong this year had gone wrong. But 2020 has one more surprise for us: as of reports this morning, Hawaii has disappeared. The islands are nowhere to be found. Geologists and physicists alike have no insight into where the island state has gone, but they expect its small size led to its demise.
Surprisingly, Hawaiian residents expected the disaster. One particularly outspoken hippy, reeking of patchouli, stated "we're so far off the coast, American news sources rarely report on our affairs. Thank God someone has the sense to cover this story." She went on: "we've known of this phenomenon for a long time. Once in a while, the high tides from full moons just cover us right up."
Luckily, the population of Hawaii has adapted to the monthly fear of sinking islands, and they simply live on their surfboards for a few hours as they wait for the tides to go down and for their island home to return.