Disclaimer: all quotes, stories, and claims made in this article are fictional.
Draco Malfoy may be the villain in a multi-billion-dollar series, but his true fame comes from his go-to expression: the elusive sneer. Imagine you’re the arch-nemesis to a universally loved nerd who is unmatched in bravery, righteousness, and intelligence. You are the enemy, and you are not universally loved. What face would you make? Would you…. sneer?
Well, Thursday Detention is here to tell you that you would not. No one in real life has ever sneered. This is a scientifically proven fact, crosschecked by data scientists from Pew Research. Their recent discovery led vlad and sos to expand their research and to eventually publish a 100-page thesis on the topic. The contents of this paper are summarized below:
Abstract
In this report, we discuss the findings of world-renowned scientists at the Pew Research Center. Our main goal in publishing this report is to inform the public of the divisive nature of the “sneer” in literature. In their research, scientists have concluded that the “sneer” is in fact not an expression made in real life, but rather a literary device authors use to express villainous qualities. Rather than thinking critically about how to portray villains’ malice through their actions or appearances, authors manufactured the “sneer” to act as a hint for readers so that they could identify the enemy of the main character without any textual evidence or plot to back it up. vlad and sos would like to formally condemn the use of the word “sneer” as a cop-out in all future literature.
You can read the full report at https://www.pewresearch.org/
Well, Thursday Detention is here to tell you that you would not. No one in real life has ever sneered. This is a scientifically proven fact, crosschecked by data scientists from Pew Research. Their recent discovery led vlad and sos to expand their research and to eventually publish a 100-page thesis on the topic. The contents of this paper are summarized below:
Abstract
In this report, we discuss the findings of world-renowned scientists at the Pew Research Center. Our main goal in publishing this report is to inform the public of the divisive nature of the “sneer” in literature. In their research, scientists have concluded that the “sneer” is in fact not an expression made in real life, but rather a literary device authors use to express villainous qualities. Rather than thinking critically about how to portray villains’ malice through their actions or appearances, authors manufactured the “sneer” to act as a hint for readers so that they could identify the enemy of the main character without any textual evidence or plot to back it up. vlad and sos would like to formally condemn the use of the word “sneer” as a cop-out in all future literature.
You can read the full report at https://www.pewresearch.org/