thank you for enlightening me, cortana
I woke up on September 28th with blind optimism. The sun was shining. It was 8 am. I was excited for the week ahead of me. I had no idea what awaited me in my Outlook inbox.
I got dressed and decided to glance through my email to delete the 328,758,931 messages from colleges telling me about their lusciously green campuses and their unwavering commitment to furthering human knowledge.
As I innocently scrolled through my unread emails, though, I came across an appalling sight. Cortana’s First Daily Briefing.
From this day on, I never responded to the Microsoft email jingle with the same excitement. Cortana ruined me. I live in fear. Cortana’s emails acost my eyes every weekday morning with the same jarringly bright phrases: “Hi THEre!! It’s a NEW Day!!” or “Off to A Good STArt!!”
Cortana’s sole purpose is to remind me of the emails I haven’t responded to. The briefings also notify me of my failure to schedule enough meetings. I hear the haunting tone of Cortana’s cheery messages every time I arrive late to class, forget to text someone back, or miss an assignment on my list.
My question to Microsoft: Why? I and all my peers were doing just fine before we were reminded daily of our shortcomings when it comes to timely email responses. I am aware that I can unsubscribe from Cortana's emails. But I would like to take this a step further. Please click here to sign the petition in favor of banning Cortana Daily Briefings for all Microsoft users.
I got dressed and decided to glance through my email to delete the 328,758,931 messages from colleges telling me about their lusciously green campuses and their unwavering commitment to furthering human knowledge.
As I innocently scrolled through my unread emails, though, I came across an appalling sight. Cortana’s First Daily Briefing.
From this day on, I never responded to the Microsoft email jingle with the same excitement. Cortana ruined me. I live in fear. Cortana’s emails acost my eyes every weekday morning with the same jarringly bright phrases: “Hi THEre!! It’s a NEW Day!!” or “Off to A Good STArt!!”
Cortana’s sole purpose is to remind me of the emails I haven’t responded to. The briefings also notify me of my failure to schedule enough meetings. I hear the haunting tone of Cortana’s cheery messages every time I arrive late to class, forget to text someone back, or miss an assignment on my list.
My question to Microsoft: Why? I and all my peers were doing just fine before we were reminded daily of our shortcomings when it comes to timely email responses. I am aware that I can unsubscribe from Cortana's emails. But I would like to take this a step further. Please click here to sign the petition in favor of banning Cortana Daily Briefings for all Microsoft users.