Note: check out Ask Alf for context
Reunited At Last
Alf-
Seeing you again let me find myself
I will spend the rest of my days by your side
you complete me, Alf, and I will lose my very
identity
if you are not here with me.
tell me you will stay
Tell me you feel the same way
with love,
Ricardo
Seeing you again let me find myself
I will spend the rest of my days by your side
you complete me, Alf, and I will lose my very
identity
if you are not here with me.
tell me you will stay
Tell me you feel the same way
with love,
Ricardo
Ulf says...Ricardo,
I do not know you, and this seems dangerously sentimental. However, consider recording your dreadful poetry on a runestone so that future people will spend years trying to decipher it and then pretend it is profound. I suggest that you seek inspiration from Bragi, and research fornyrðislag, a meter so simple you might be able to employ it. May you find your love and a better muse, --Ulf |
A Case of Constipation
alf.
When I think of him, my stomach is full of butterflies. So many butterflies it hurts. I start cramping up, especially in the mornings and late afternoons. it really really hurts. It's like constant pressure? and i haven’t had a bowel movement in five days. Am I in love?
sincerely,
written from the toilet
When I think of him, my stomach is full of butterflies. So many butterflies it hurts. I start cramping up, especially in the mornings and late afternoons. it really really hurts. It's like constant pressure? and i haven’t had a bowel movement in five days. Am I in love?
sincerely,
written from the toilet
Ulf says...Dear Written From the Toilet,
You are very likely to die. Luckily, since you (kind of?) died in battle, you will dine with Oðinn in Valhalla. Congratulations! You will probably be remembered inaccurately (did you know we do not actually wear horned helmets? Fenrir’s teeth! We had a complex social structure that’s been romanticized away by all those darn operas!), but take comfort knowing that many will sing of your noble death. May Frigg guide you, --Ulf |