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Discarded Headlines
By vlad
Rating: LS

We try to filter the news so that our readership only sees the best of the best of our content. That being said, every year since our founding in 1988, we have had the tradition of publishing our discarded headlines in December as a way to reflect on the year. Below we share our favorite discarded article pitches from 2020. Tell us in the comments which ones we should’ve written!

Breaking: Whistleblower in Westridge Administration Confirms Students Will Wear Hazmat Suits to On-Campus Conditioning as a Public Health Precaution

73 Questions With Ms. St. John

What Happened to Houseparty?

Checking in With the Campus Squirrels: Poor Turnout Rates at Squirrel Olympics Leave Squirrel Communities in Economic Recession

Unsung Leadership Positions: Peer-To-Peers, Service Reps, and Spyglass Editors Share Their Testimonies Fighting for Justice Out of the Public Eye

Just When We Thought Nothing Could Save Us, Dodo Birds Recovered From Extinction

Dear Jackson Finnerman, The U.S. Senate Needs a Progress Report

Ask Alfredo: Cooking Advice Column

What is COVID-19?

Thursday Detention Editorial Board Invests in a Goat

Westridge Begins Thanksgiving Yam Pardoning Tradition

Business Office Funds Westridge Playground Construction for Personal Use

Dr. Udell and Mr. Baldwin Practice Animal Crossing for Future Careers in Professional Gaming

Thursday Detention Teams Concludes: There Is Really No Way to Make Fun of Dr. Holland

Students Nominate Melissa Kelley for Nobel Peace Prize After Several Perfectly-Timed Screen Breaks

Area Tiger Admits He’s No Match for Westridgette Tiger

Student Says She Will Take AP Exams in Her College Applications; Lie

Thursday Detention Advisor Allison Clark Faces Disciplinary Action for Approving Article Comparing Mr. Baldwin to Fish 

Ms. Greenstone Faces an Ethical Dilemma

Thursday Detention Poll Finds Spyglass No Longer a Reliable News Source, Students Turn to TD for Brexit Updates

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