Everything has been taken away from us – our livelihoods, our dreams, our senior privileges. Here are some helpful suggestions for the administration to consider in order to replace our precious sandal rights:
Legal right to cyberbully underclassmen
We should be able to comment on their clothing choices just like seniors of ages past commented on ours! I, for one, think it would be completely reasonable to have time during town meetings solely devoted to shaming underclassmen in the Zoom chat. I will never forget the fear of angering a senior because the font on my jacket closely resembled a college logo. The new generation of Westridge students should feel the same terror.
Right to interrupt any class to give a short information session on the college of your choice
Everyone can wear college merch now: we need to kick it up a notch. Have you heard that the Rice University campus has approximately 4,300 trees on it?
Legal right to cyberbully underclassmen
We should be able to comment on their clothing choices just like seniors of ages past commented on ours! I, for one, think it would be completely reasonable to have time during town meetings solely devoted to shaming underclassmen in the Zoom chat. I will never forget the fear of angering a senior because the font on my jacket closely resembled a college logo. The new generation of Westridge students should feel the same terror.
Right to interrupt any class to give a short information session on the college of your choice
Everyone can wear college merch now: we need to kick it up a notch. Have you heard that the Rice University campus has approximately 4,300 trees on it?
First access to Moderna vaccine
Forget senior citizens, Westridge seniors deserve vaccines. We're probably not at risk of death, but we're at risk of never lounging around on the Madeline Court benches again. You tell me: which one sounds worse?
Right to pretend to be a food network personality of your choice.
This might already allowed. Regardless, we need to bring Westridge to Flavortown.
Right to be extra out of uniform
We should be allowed to wear shirts so ugly that looking at them turns people to stone. Spaghetti straps as thin as a single spider web. Llama socks. Animal print cargo pants. Various brightly colored hats. We should also be able to show up to school in just a bra. It's comfortable, convenient, and the equivalent of sandals for your torso.
Ten ditch days instead of one
Seniors in the class of 2021 will be able to ditch one day a week until the end of the year. It's only fair considering everyone can wear open-toed shoes now.
Forget senior citizens, Westridge seniors deserve vaccines. We're probably not at risk of death, but we're at risk of never lounging around on the Madeline Court benches again. You tell me: which one sounds worse?
Right to pretend to be a food network personality of your choice.
This might already allowed. Regardless, we need to bring Westridge to Flavortown.
Right to be extra out of uniform
We should be allowed to wear shirts so ugly that looking at them turns people to stone. Spaghetti straps as thin as a single spider web. Llama socks. Animal print cargo pants. Various brightly colored hats. We should also be able to show up to school in just a bra. It's comfortable, convenient, and the equivalent of sandals for your torso.
Ten ditch days instead of one
Seniors in the class of 2021 will be able to ditch one day a week until the end of the year. It's only fair considering everyone can wear open-toed shoes now.