In honor of the New Year, which actually has nothing to do with astrology, here are some of our favorite teacher quotes as star signs. Believe it or not, we didn't make any of these up.
Aries: “I like to go 110 miles an hour through residential streets for the thrill of feeling the breeze in my meager hair. It’s important to me.”
Taurus: “My hypothetical tattoo would be a potato because potatoes are amazing and versatile. Hash browns, french fries, potato chips, you name it.”
Gemini: “I was sitting all alone in the dark listening to Madagascar 2.”
Cancer: “Ladies, please turn your attention towards the images of the naked men.”
Leo: “It’s Einstein, me, everyone else.” (Teacher describing the hierarchy of intelligence)
Virgo: "For the record, do not FedEx sperm across the country."
Libra: “Organized crime, I’d be part of disorganized crime. I’d forget where I put the money.”
Scorpio: “I sold my soul for pork bellies on the Chicago stock exchange.”
Sagittarius: “Treat books like a dark alley.”
Capricorn: “One day you will age out of popular society, and I hope it comes as a cold slap to your face, and you have youths to treat you poorly.”
Aquarius: “What is gay humor and why is it so exhausting for you?”
Pisces: “Change starts with a girl, but in this case, it starts with the word of God.”
Taurus: “My hypothetical tattoo would be a potato because potatoes are amazing and versatile. Hash browns, french fries, potato chips, you name it.”
Gemini: “I was sitting all alone in the dark listening to Madagascar 2.”
Cancer: “Ladies, please turn your attention towards the images of the naked men.”
Leo: “It’s Einstein, me, everyone else.” (Teacher describing the hierarchy of intelligence)
Virgo: "For the record, do not FedEx sperm across the country."
Libra: “Organized crime, I’d be part of disorganized crime. I’d forget where I put the money.”
Scorpio: “I sold my soul for pork bellies on the Chicago stock exchange.”
Sagittarius: “Treat books like a dark alley.”
Capricorn: “One day you will age out of popular society, and I hope it comes as a cold slap to your face, and you have youths to treat you poorly.”
Aquarius: “What is gay humor and why is it so exhausting for you?”
Pisces: “Change starts with a girl, but in this case, it starts with the word of God.”