In my opinion, Outlook email notifications have always been a sight for sore eyes. However, I have grown to dread the familiar ding that signifies a new Outlook email. It began this year, when I started applying to colleges, and a steady stream of emails from schools I had never heard of began to clog up my junk folder. It’s understandable that schools need to market themselves, but at a certain point, their efforts seem futile. By “a certain point,” I mean after I’ve finished applying to schools. When I consented to have my information sent to colleges signing up for the PSAT in sophomore year, I had no clue my inbox would have 50 unread emails from The University of Alabama telling me about their deadline extension two years later. Without further ado, here is a list of emails I would rather receive than emails from colleges I did not apply to:
A progress report from Jackson Finnerman
My mom sending me an email instead of a text because it’s her preferred method of communication
Ms. Sneed scheduling an assembly
ACT letting me know I scored a 6
Army recruitment letters
Victoria Secret ad for their new panty line
Mr. Raines cancelling and rescheduling our Perspectives class
A summons for jury duty
Aubrey Plaza’s obituary
SparkNotes reminding me to renew my subscription
Kaldi Coffee telling me they’re closing
UberEats promo codes
My first semester grades
Cortana Daily Briefings
A Westridge Weekly Newsletter
An email from Coach Horn about my P.E. credit
Mandatory Zoom call invite
The IRS telling me I will be audited
An email from an ex who I blocked on every other platform
WWF telling me the Pasadena parrots have gone extinct
Turnitin.com telling me I plagiarized an essay
A progress report from Jackson Finnerman
My mom sending me an email instead of a text because it’s her preferred method of communication
Ms. Sneed scheduling an assembly
ACT letting me know I scored a 6
Army recruitment letters
Victoria Secret ad for their new panty line
Mr. Raines cancelling and rescheduling our Perspectives class
A summons for jury duty
Aubrey Plaza’s obituary
SparkNotes reminding me to renew my subscription
Kaldi Coffee telling me they’re closing
UberEats promo codes
My first semester grades
Cortana Daily Briefings
A Westridge Weekly Newsletter
An email from Coach Horn about my P.E. credit
Mandatory Zoom call invite
The IRS telling me I will be audited
An email from an ex who I blocked on every other platform
WWF telling me the Pasadena parrots have gone extinct
Turnitin.com telling me I plagiarized an essay