Buzzfeed recently published an article that got a lot of hate because it fed into stereotypes about the LGBTQIA+ community and didn't have very much multidimensionality to it. The article was called "99 Things Straight People Probably Don't Know Are Gay." Sorry to break it to you, Buzzfeed, but everyone, even straight people, knows astrology and iced coffee are gay. So, we decided to make a new list. Without further ado, here’s Thursday Detention’s parody: a list of 99 things straight people actually don’t know are gay (written by some queer members of the TD staff).
- Frozen 2
- Any Disney movie
- Okra
- The green trash can
- Marsupials
- The smell of vanilla
- Insomnia
- Bachelor Nation
- Using military time
- Using dark mode
- Art
- Architecture
- Music
- The House of Representatives
- Chick-Fil-A
- Indoor plants
- The word gossamer
- Four-weel drive
- Wearing anything on your head
- The PAC lobby
- The technology section of Target
- Pastel-colored Volvos
- Dolly Parton music
- Composting
- Burning things
- Running a psychic hotline
- Brokeback Mountain
- The iPhone 11
- Hide-A-Key
- Reading
- Groovy Girls
- Zip Zap Zop
- Beans
- The color orange
- The color fuschia
- Cardigans
- Flavored milk
- Doc Marten platform sandals
- “Uptown Girl”
- Fruit
- Picnics
- Big dogs
- Axe Body Spray
- Ankle socks
- Birds of paradise
- The brick emoji
- Watching Stephen Colbert
- Kant
- Sitting close to the mic in Town Hall
- Non-peanut nut butter
- Changing friend’s contact names to something that isn’t their name
- The leg emoji
- Having a lunch box
- Using string instead of belts
- Ending a text conversation with a Tapback
- Airbnb hosts
- Chronic back pain
- Playing viola
- Car washes
- “Come on Eileen”
- Parkour
- Ginger ale
- The rule of law
- Wired Apple earbuds
- AirPods
- Rocks
- Martinis
- Apple CarPlay
- Saying random things that you think out loud
- Gossip Girl
- Weighted blankets
- Listerine Cool Mint Pocketpaks Breath Strips
- Dinosaurs
- Hotel chains
- Magazines
- French music composers
- Using a seatbelt
- Taylor Swift
- Fear of confrontation
- Putting clothing on pets
- Buying a house with an attic
- Reading the NYT as your only news source
- Making lists
- Saying “ne-vah-da” instead of “Nevada”
- Belgium
- Being really early to important meetings
- Shivering
- Using fabric softener on jeans
- Venn diagrams
- Walking
- Nebraska
- Clark’s Nutrition & Natural Foods Market
- Pumpkin cream cold brew
- Velcro
- Bad tie-dye
- IKEA
- Cruise control
- Kissing girls