As Westridge searches for a Commencement speaker to end this god-forsaken year, we hope Mrs. McGregor and her team will consider our suggestions. We put a lot of thought into finding someone who represents Westridge’s core values: integrity, respect, responsibility, and inclusion. We also know how important it is to have a female speaker, however, we believe the non-women in our list transcend gender. We will not be responding to criticism. We believe these options are all self-explanatory.
Thank you.
- Lisa Damour
- Daniel Radcliffe
- Niurka
- Gretta Thunberg’s boat
- Post Malone
- Chris Fleming (but for real)
- The Weeknd
- Matthew Morrison
- Ellen (representation is important)
- George Bush Jr.
- JK Rowling (so we can throw tomatoes at her)
- Meghan Markle’s unborn baby
- Ed Sheeran
- Ilyana P. ‘28
- Victoria from the Bachelor
- Noah Centineo
- Yodeling kid
- Kamala Harris’ entrepreneur stepdaughter
- Elon Musk
- Jackson Finnerman (first male registrar)
- Ian Tatum (seriously)
- North West
- Mr. McGregor’s bagpipes
- Alf
- A swarm of bees
Thank you.