As a lifer, I know all there is to know about Westridge. You can trust me — I promise everything in the article is true and not a lie. This is the key to your success at Westridge, so listen up, lest you make the same mistakes I did.
- You may not believe it, but Westridge actually IS an accredited “school”. This means that, if you fulfil your PE requirement, you will earn a certificate after some number of years that can later be cashed in for a free toy.
- “Mudd” is a building, not literal mud.
- Every student leader will tell you in their campaign that they plan to finally fix the rotten egg smell. They are lying; The Smell is a protected species.
- Do not ask about the sloths.
- Uniform requirements stipulate that you will be expelled if you wear a hat indoors.
- On your graduation day, you’ll wear white and become legally married to the spirit of Westridge, Matilda Tiger. (Don’t forget to file for divorce if you ever plan to marry someone else!)
- NEVER share your student ID number over email or to any person! It’s like your social security number. If someone else ever learns it, they can legally sit for your AP tests.
- Don’t cross the theater department, or you’ll find yourself in an extremely well choreographed fight. (Or the ceramics people, or they’ll THROW hands. Haha I’m so funny.)
- Carry garlic at all times — if any of your teachers don’t show up on a Teams call, it means they are a vampire and should not be trusted.
- Never enter a teacher’s office; speak to them from the door threshold. Like the Hotel California, once you’re in, you can never leave.