Have you come to the realization that the only reason you applied to that vaguely Midwestern liberal arts college was because you saw one mediocrely-attractive, kombucha-guzzling film bro with a Patagonia and a superiority complex on an admissions Instagram page? (He likes to play devil’s advocate and thinks that Tarantino is soooo misunderstood.) Have you wondered what his “shoegaze and Death Grips-influenced” Radiohead cover band will sound like? Well, now you can wonder no more! I introduce to you Collective Trashy Indie Boyfriend, a crash course in HD relationship red flags and Elon Musk’s biggest (anti-capitalist) fan. Live vicariously through this series of text messages from Collective Trashy Indie Boyfriend and realize you never want to leave Westridge!