Note: we thought the senior advice town meeting was this week, but alas, it was not. So, this is advice they definitely didn't tell you in the town meeting, considering we haven't had it yet.
Season’s greetings! Well it’s that time of year again for seniors to pretend they’re wise and all-knowing adults. Here’s some of my best advice, since I’m sure everyone could learn a few things from someone so brilliant her pen name is “pen name” backwards.
1. Invest in a thesaurus
Your pedagogues will unequivocally surmise that you are brilliant. Your essays will also become appropriately unreadable.
2. You can cure most diseases with a bit of yogurt
This is a real piece of advice I once got from a relative, which I thought I should pass on.
3. There’s no rule that says you can’t bring a live badger to school
I’m not sure this is true, but still. I’m just trying to make the world a more interesting place.
4. (IV) Learn how to read roman numerals
I can’t tell you how many times this has come in handy! At least twice, I think (II times). Very useful for figuring out what chapter you’re on in old fashioned books and making stupid puns. You can finally consider getting a C the pinnacle of excellence!
5. Don’t publish a memoir until you’re at least 60
I don’t know if this will be useful to you while you’re in high school, but I am growing alarmed by the increasing number of memoirs by like 30 year olds that I see on the market nowadays.
1. Invest in a thesaurus
Your pedagogues will unequivocally surmise that you are brilliant. Your essays will also become appropriately unreadable.
2. You can cure most diseases with a bit of yogurt
This is a real piece of advice I once got from a relative, which I thought I should pass on.
3. There’s no rule that says you can’t bring a live badger to school
I’m not sure this is true, but still. I’m just trying to make the world a more interesting place.
4. (IV) Learn how to read roman numerals
I can’t tell you how many times this has come in handy! At least twice, I think (II times). Very useful for figuring out what chapter you’re on in old fashioned books and making stupid puns. You can finally consider getting a C the pinnacle of excellence!
5. Don’t publish a memoir until you’re at least 60
I don’t know if this will be useful to you while you’re in high school, but I am growing alarmed by the increasing number of memoirs by like 30 year olds that I see on the market nowadays.
area badger caught roaming mrs. mcgregor's backyard
