As habitants of Southern California, we are all aware that the idea of “fall” is mainly a myth. Cast away misconceptions of warm-colored leaves and winter storms, and instead embrace the return of the infamous Pumpkin Spice L****. The drink (if you genuinely believe this is a latte you have never had a real shot of espresso) was first introduced in 2003 by Starbucks. Sadly, many people became obsessed with the combination of spice and sugar.
My main question for all you Pumpkin Spice People is “why”? What is so appealing about a cup of sugar? If you look up “Pumpkin Spice Latte” on google, the first three ingredients are sugar, whipped cream, and carrageenan. The very idea of labeling such a beverage “latte” offends the coffee purist in me. I’ve seen friends walk around with this… thing, which from observation alone appears to be 80% whipped cream.
But before my hatred for these monstrosities angers anybody, I’d like to mention I am not the only individual offended by the drink. In 2014, John Oliver described them as “that bottle of pumpkin-flavored science goo… never aging like Ryan Seacrest.” What some people don’t realize is that the PSL or Pumpkin Spice Latte infiltrated other markets and product lines. Even dog treats have been sold in pumpkin spice flavors.
As a person in love with sweaters and drinking tea in front of the fireplace when it’s 70 degrees in December, if you feel connected to the nonexistent fall weather through Pumpkin Spice Drinks, so be it (though I will never understand it; just drink a proper latte).