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Westridge’s Fall 2021 Candle Line
by bean
 ​



Stores worldwide come out with new candle lines just in time for fall, so why can’t Westridge have one? We hired the best of the best marketing team within our cunning Thursday Detention staff. Here are our picks for the Fall 2021 Westridge Candle collection. Only sold at Anthropologie.  
  1. The Best Day of The Year 

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Let’s start out with a sweet sentimental candle, shall we?  
Oh what a wonderful day it truly is… wait. You thought I was talking about your birthday? No. Humble yourself. I’m talking about the Yam Fest. Yam fest is the best day of the year and if you disagree with me, you’re wrong. This iconic fall candle is scented like yams, cinnamon, and the sweet, sweet smell of Thanksgiving break. 
    2. “Come to our Show….”  
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Okay theater department, we know you have a show coming up, you’ve only mentioned it every day for the past 4 months. Of course, I’m going to come... and not just because I am genuinely scared you’ll yell at me for the next 4 months because I didn’t go. The “Come to Our Show” candle smells like new play shirts, with base notes of the PAC lobby, and a dash of cinnamon to give it the fall vibe. 
    3. “You get a burrito and YOU get a burrito!!! 
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 Burritos for one! Burritos for all! You know em’ and love em’. The Westridge breakfast burritos sure do hold a special place in our hearts. Luxurious self care day? Draw up a bubble bath and light this candle to smell the sweet scent of eggs, cheese and bacon.  
    4. Sewage. 
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No explanation needed.  
     5. “I’m so tired” 
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Whether it was a self-assessment, a bio lab, the poetry anthology or your college supplementals, this phrase is one that I can confidently say resonates with us all. Did we maybe procrastinate which led to our exhaustion because we binged The Great British Baking Show? No? Just me? I digress. This pungent candle smells of coffee, pen ink and just a smidge of regret.  
    6. tuh・leh・muh・kuhs 
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Oh 9th grade...Westridge English department, this one’s for you. It’s a brisk morning and it's the first day you begin to read Homer’s translation of The Odyssey. If you are afraid of the massive size of the book, you have every right to be. A few classes later and you are required to participate. However, there’s just one problem. Although your English teacher has continuously reminded you how to pronounce Telemachus, the pronunciation flees your mind and you must mutter it under your breath as quickly as possible to save yourself from the embarrassment that is referring to Telemachus as “tell-uh-may-chus”. The agony of that disgraceful “ch” sound will cling to your soul for the rest of your high school English career. This candle smells like old carpet, wood, and the smell of fresh paper from your copy of The Odyssey, which you purchased just yesterday, but claimed your book was late because it was “on it’s way from Amazon” when you really just forgot to buy the book. 

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