I have a confession.
I have absolutely no idea what squash is.
Is it a cousin to a pumpkin? Maybe. Is a pumpkin a squash? Also possible. Is squash the name of a group of vegetables like “beans” and “mammals”?
Why don’t I ever hear people calling plural squash referred to as “squashes.” Who decided to make squash so obscure and unique that it keeps the singular word for plural purposes too? Only sheep should be that special.
Why do we sometimes have to scoop out the organs of a squash, while other recipes call for certain squash(es) that are meant to be eaten with their internal organs?
Does anyone really know how to actually eat and cook squash(es)?
Maybe I’m looking at squash(es) from the wrong angle. Should my questions be more accusatory? Who founded the principle of a squash? Maybe they are a figment of our imaginations. Maybe, squash(es) don’t actually exist.
What’s even more upsetting is that even Google doesn’t know the answer. Search up “What is squash” and the first 6 most common auto filled results have nothing to do with the vegetable.
At this point, I’m at a loss. I don’t know where to go from here. In truth, I’m at a crossroads. I have too much knowledge on squash that isn’t squash. What’s more? It seems as though this is a worldwide crisis that no one is worried about. I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, and no one cares. This is a cry for help. This is a cry for action and investigation.
Who knows squash(es)? Why is squash(es)? Where squash(es)? How squash(es)?
I’ve notified Alph to be receptive to any information the public may know. Please contact Alph with beliefs, knowledge, or advice.