At Thursday Detention, we value many things including, but not restricted to wheat. In fact, we love wheat so much that almost all of us have bread in our homes regularly.
To explore wheat in a more academic setting, I interviewed Ms. Yurchak (English Teacher, often spotted wearing cool pants). Whether you had/have class with Ms. Yurchak or have just heard about the adventures of studying The Scarlet Letter, you have most certainly heard about her baking endeavors. Yurchak Bread™ is pillar to the Westridge experience.
Interestingly, when interviewing Ms. Yurchak, the interview veered into a land of conspiracies and unreleased secrets, rather than bread, which I excitedly welcomed.
Out of the ten-minute interview I had with Ms. Yurchak, here is the most significant part of the transcript.
Knee: Can you tell us about your journey as a bread baker?
Ms. Yurchak: I’ve been baking my whole life really. Funny enough, I actually went to culinary school, and you know, I got the certificate and everything. I love baking and I love eating baked goods.
Knee: Does that mean you know Gordon Ramsey?
Ms. Yurchak: (with palpable disdain) Yes. He was my first husband, we’re divorced now, but yea, I knew him.
Knee: Unexpected. Was it an ugly divorce?
Ms. Yurchak: I mean yeah, it was. Have you seen his shows? He screams at people.
Knee: Do you blame the divorce on him?
Ms. Yurchak: Of course, I do.
After speaking to Ms. Yurchak, I realized that to her, baking meant something so much more than just salty gluten. To Ms. Yurchak, Bread carried a weighty and emotional history of her ex-husband, Gordon.
As you may recall from the life-changing interview we had with Mr. P last issue, Thursday Detention’s investigative team is underfunded, mostly because we don’t need an investigative team; we are an investigative team. What our readers don’t know yet is that one of the prerequisites to be a Thursday Detention writer is to have been fired from the CIA. We are all ex-spies.
Using my secret intelligence experience, I did a little research. Pictured below is a picture of Gordon circa January of 1875. He’s smiling, unknowing of the future, in the middle of his seemingly happy marriage with Ms. Yurchak.
Gogh, Van. "Gordon Delight". 1875, Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York City.
Compare that painting with this painting from 1877. He’s pensive, at rock bottom, reevaluating everything.
Compare that painting with this painting from 1877. He’s pensive, at rock bottom, reevaluating everything.
Gogh, Van. "Gordon Distress". 1877, Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York City.
While Gogh made these pieces only two years apart, it would make sense if they coincided with Gordon and Ms. Yurchak's repugnant divorce. Despite no longer being connected by their marriage vows, Gordon and Ms. Yurchak are still forever connected by their love of cooking. Gordon channels the remaining resentment he has from the divorce into his young victims on Master Chef Junior, while Ms. Yurchak uses her contempt for good, by ferociously making loaf after loaf and giving them to her young scholars. Ultimately, Ms. Yurchak and Gordon are connected by a coping mechanism – gluten products.
Thank you, Ms. Yurchak, for your honesty and reflection. Your vulnerability inspires us all to be better.
While Gogh made these pieces only two years apart, it would make sense if they coincided with Gordon and Ms. Yurchak's repugnant divorce. Despite no longer being connected by their marriage vows, Gordon and Ms. Yurchak are still forever connected by their love of cooking. Gordon channels the remaining resentment he has from the divorce into his young victims on Master Chef Junior, while Ms. Yurchak uses her contempt for good, by ferociously making loaf after loaf and giving them to her young scholars. Ultimately, Ms. Yurchak and Gordon are connected by a coping mechanism – gluten products.
Thank you, Ms. Yurchak, for your honesty and reflection. Your vulnerability inspires us all to be better.