In all the classes I have with juniors, I have noticed that they lately seem to be decaying? Not in a bad way, you guys look great, I swear. The decay seems to be more of an in to out type of thing -- like second semester of junior year is some sort of flesh-eating bacteria. Regardless of why you all (respectfully) look slightly dead, I am here not to mock nor scorn you, but simply to say that it is almost over. As a senior who has made it through the depths of Junior year, I hope you can listen when I say, it does get better. In fact, I am pretty sure you will not feel this intensity of stress ever again to this degree. Junior year is rough. Decay is a right of passage! Anyway, out of the kindness of my heart, I have compiled a list of tips I have for you all about how I made it through my second semester of Junior year. I hope you find this list of tips helpful.
- Train yourself to sleep with your eyes open, so as not to waste 8 hours in bed without doing homework
- Listen to heavy metal constantly. ACDC ringing in your ears should be the relaxing norm. Refute natural silence. Strengthen your ears.
- Trek to the North Pole and finish the remnants of your Junior year with wolves.
- Contact Mary Shelley about creating your own minion to do your homework for you.
- Drink your food to avoid wasting time chewing.
- Begin solely wearing 5-toe shoes.