Thursday Detention does not endorse nor condone tax evasion or giving your money to a 4-year-old. We do however accept donations and strongly suggest you send your money over to us now.
This is the best financial advice you will receive and it’s not even in the form of a TikTok video. Trust me, I took 9th grade ADVANCED geometry.
First, you’re going to want to get into the stock market. Imagine you’re Leonardo DiCaprio in The Wolf of Wall Street, but better. My suggestion is to give your money to the companies with the cutest acronyms. TSLA and AAPL? Nah. Try LLY or MA! The more you think about it, the more likely you are to mess up. Throw your money at a random company, and in a few years, you’ll be calling yourself a multi-millionaire.
To be truly successful in the world of finance, you’re going to need to unlock your inner beast mode. Wake up at 5am, stare at a picture of Dwayne Johnson or Ben Shapiro (both work), watch motivation TikToks, and embrace the alpha male in you.
Also, you’re going to need a financial advisor. My services are always available to you, but it’s good to have a second opinion. Consider the sharks on Shark Tank, your favorite teacher’s 4-year-old child, or even your best friend on Animal Jam.
Finally, even though it’s illegal, tax evasion is a MUST. It’s really the best way to keep your money in order. Whenever you feel like evading your dues might be wrong, just think of the proud patriots who were a part of the Boston Tea Party.
Remember guys, don’t listen to some anonymous rando on the internet. Only listen to reliable sources like me and you’ll be making bank.
This is the best financial advice you will receive and it’s not even in the form of a TikTok video. Trust me, I took 9th grade ADVANCED geometry.
First, you’re going to want to get into the stock market. Imagine you’re Leonardo DiCaprio in The Wolf of Wall Street, but better. My suggestion is to give your money to the companies with the cutest acronyms. TSLA and AAPL? Nah. Try LLY or MA! The more you think about it, the more likely you are to mess up. Throw your money at a random company, and in a few years, you’ll be calling yourself a multi-millionaire.
To be truly successful in the world of finance, you’re going to need to unlock your inner beast mode. Wake up at 5am, stare at a picture of Dwayne Johnson or Ben Shapiro (both work), watch motivation TikToks, and embrace the alpha male in you.
Also, you’re going to need a financial advisor. My services are always available to you, but it’s good to have a second opinion. Consider the sharks on Shark Tank, your favorite teacher’s 4-year-old child, or even your best friend on Animal Jam.
Finally, even though it’s illegal, tax evasion is a MUST. It’s really the best way to keep your money in order. Whenever you feel like evading your dues might be wrong, just think of the proud patriots who were a part of the Boston Tea Party.
Remember guys, don’t listen to some anonymous rando on the internet. Only listen to reliable sources like me and you’ll be making bank.