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  • More
    • Hall of Fame
    • Submissions

I Love Report Cards
by beezer

At the end of the year, there are two types of people on the Westridge campus. Those who have Mr. Finnerman blocked from their email inbox and don’t care about report card and then there are those who are having two meetings a day with the school therapist about their grades. I fall under the latter so over the years, I have figured a few ways to stay cool in the weeks leading up to the release of report cards. 

  1. Schedule a meeting with the school counselor. She has some really good pillows in her office.
  2. Try to pry your grade out of your teacher’s so you aren’t surprised when grades come out. 
  3. Take one of Ms. Seiberling’s yoga classes.
  4. Cry in the PAC basement bathrooms.
  5. Create a petition to ban grades and bring it to Mr. Baldwin’s office.
  6. Go on a SHEIN shopping spree, wear everything once, and then donate it to a Goodwill. #RetailTherapy
  7. Watch ASMR
I know these last few weeks can be tough, but try to separate yourself from negative energy. After all, grades will only determine the next 50 years of your life. You still have a solid 10 more years after that! Buy some crystals, play some TikTok songs, and find your inner peace.

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