The Real Reason Behind The RB64 Renovation
By; Vertically Challenged
Recently, our beloved RB64 has been out of order due to a “water leak.” But, us here at Thursday Detention think otherwise. See, I’ve been mingling with some new homosapieans during lunch (due to drama involving lawnmowers), and we usually consume our food in the classrooms upstairs from the commons. And every time I walk down that long strip of green-blue concrete, I see something I can never unsee. **Man lunch, engaging in a discussion only one can describe as something that gets Westridge students through their day. From this sighting and others involving shared trips to the bathroom and interviews from fellow students, I have concluded that the Man lunch dance duo are the culprits of said destruction of our beloved RB64.
Here is why:
Some evidence first:
The reputable evidence stated above indeed proves my argument that the fine establishment of Man Lunch has sinned. A new member comes to this masculinity circle…………MR.CROSS!!!! Under the code 3658, paragraph 6, it states “Man Lunch is made up of two men who carry a relationship similar to two sloths.” By Man Lunch disregarding this sacred rule, they had to be destroyed via crucifixion. This horrid event is what they now call a “water leak”
**Man lunch, a time where you and a fellow male eat together, then drive home together to their shared house in which they were roommates. Similar to engaging in a weirdly familiar intimacy only familiar with you and your grandma or a speed dating partner you hit it off with!
Here is why:
Some evidence first:
- Via Spork and Spife: “On July 2nd me and Spork were rummaging around campus like the little raccoons we are, when we heard something one only can be described as “irksome.” It was coming from the far side of campus, near those wretched green see-through cubes they call a science building. Like the raccoons we are, we decided to investigate this gruesome sound. We approached the scene of the crime with foreboding footsteps. It was a slight creaking noise with undertones of Pisces and a fire sign intermingling, unfortunately our little investigation had to be cut short due to squirrel attack.”
- Abby Liang, Editor of this fine newspaper: “It was the early morning of the first day of school when I went into RB64 and walked upon the crime scene. Since this is a newspaper that has a large audience of 10 1/2-year-olds, I will describe it as “ my worst fear mixed with my biggest dream here, with a little bit of orange juice dropped in”
- Anonymous bystander: “Per duties of head of upper school, I had to head into school early. The administration team informed me of an “astonishing” scene in the beloved RB64. Like the masculine man I am, I had my assistant take a look at it. 30 minutes later I found her running into the office with an expression of pure ecstasy.”
The reputable evidence stated above indeed proves my argument that the fine establishment of Man Lunch has sinned. A new member comes to this masculinity circle…………MR.CROSS!!!! Under the code 3658, paragraph 6, it states “Man Lunch is made up of two men who carry a relationship similar to two sloths.” By Man Lunch disregarding this sacred rule, they had to be destroyed via crucifixion. This horrid event is what they now call a “water leak”
**Man lunch, a time where you and a fellow male eat together, then drive home together to their shared house in which they were roommates. Similar to engaging in a weirdly familiar intimacy only familiar with you and your grandma or a speed dating partner you hit it off with!