Recently, the Commons has been having some population-control issues. You see, I told Admissions that we really only needed 4-5 kids per grade, but they didn’t seem to think that fit their strategic plan. So, now, here we are. To try and manage some of the really hungry students coming in-and-out, the lovely (not sarcastic. Brandon is the best!) Brandon has added security at the door. Security one may call a bouncer.
Some days it’s Ms. Leonard, others it’s Gary Baldwin. Soon we may even see a duo of Mr. Harrison and that bald guy, but regardless, we have an issue at hand. Our lunch is already limited so it’s important we get food quick. You may be thinking, isn’t it unethical to cut people? Well, weird kid who decided to take Ethics class, ethics don’t apply to food. Westridge has raised us to be strong, independent women who can survive in the real world. But, can you survive without food? Think about that. Really the only unethical part is the people who wait in line as their parents tuition is going to waste.
So, now that I’ve convinced you that cutting is right, here are some ways you can get passed the BOTD (Bouncer of the Day).
1. Walk in through the back door.
2. Alternatively, if that door is locked, walk in through the community room on the side.
3. Hire your very own Cole Sprouse look alike to distract everyone.
4. Tell the bouncer that their shoe is untied then run past.
5. Just walk past them. Nobody is stopping you. When they start yelling at you to come back, put in your Airpods and pretend you can’t hear.
6. Disguise yourself as breakfast burrito trying to get back to its home.
7. Start dancing to the last dance you saw Charli Damelio do and hope that a) your allure gets you in or b) you blind them so they can’t stop you.
8. Walk down to the costume department, grab a blazer and collared shirt and pretend you’re Mr. Baldwin. (Tip: If Gary is the BOTD, use the three Gs. Girl boss, gaslight, gatekeep)
Some days it’s Ms. Leonard, others it’s Gary Baldwin. Soon we may even see a duo of Mr. Harrison and that bald guy, but regardless, we have an issue at hand. Our lunch is already limited so it’s important we get food quick. You may be thinking, isn’t it unethical to cut people? Well, weird kid who decided to take Ethics class, ethics don’t apply to food. Westridge has raised us to be strong, independent women who can survive in the real world. But, can you survive without food? Think about that. Really the only unethical part is the people who wait in line as their parents tuition is going to waste.
So, now that I’ve convinced you that cutting is right, here are some ways you can get passed the BOTD (Bouncer of the Day).
1. Walk in through the back door.
2. Alternatively, if that door is locked, walk in through the community room on the side.
3. Hire your very own Cole Sprouse look alike to distract everyone.
4. Tell the bouncer that their shoe is untied then run past.
5. Just walk past them. Nobody is stopping you. When they start yelling at you to come back, put in your Airpods and pretend you can’t hear.
6. Disguise yourself as breakfast burrito trying to get back to its home.
7. Start dancing to the last dance you saw Charli Damelio do and hope that a) your allure gets you in or b) you blind them so they can’t stop you.
8. Walk down to the costume department, grab a blazer and collared shirt and pretend you’re Mr. Baldwin. (Tip: If Gary is the BOTD, use the three Gs. Girl boss, gaslight, gatekeep)