​Alright gamers, listen up. I have so many opinions about men, women, fiction, and reality. I promise you, there’s something on these lists for everyone. Come with me… Take my hand… We’re about to go on the adventure of a lifetime.

Rodrick Heffley

​Greg Heffley’s older brother in Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Total emo. Look at that eyeliner. He’s even in a band. Dream boy

Wild Kratts! (the brunette)

If you get it? You get it. Wild Kratts absolutely defined my childhood, and it will continue to define the rest of my life. I remember playing the video game online (my favorite mini-game was the cheetah race, obv.) and geeking out over this little green guy.

Jack Skellington

Let’s be honest: you’re not surprised. He’s tall. He’s undead. He’s wearing a suit, which is always a plus. This funky fool can bust a move, ruin Christmas, and… dare I say… Steal my heart <3

British Car (Blue) (Cars 2)

LMAO.

Geronimo Stilton

You know how that old song goes… Say! Geronimo! Say, say! Geronimo! “Sexiest mouse alive.” – my friend Cheese

Fictional Women

Mrs. Pots

She’s just so sweet, and such a fantastic mother to Chip. We all need a Mrs. Pots in our life

That Blonde from Wreck it Ralph

Gay awakening. She’s perfect. I mean, just look at her:

Hocus Pocus Sanderson Sisters (all 3)

One way!! Or another!! They’re gonna getcha. Start running.

La Llorna <3

Weeping woman of South American folklore. Literally the queen of horror. I adore her endlessly

Edna (The Awakening)

​You know her, you love her: it’s Edna. We all shipped her with that one other lady. Her husband SUCKS. Her life is pretty trash. Edna!