Top 10 moments of 2022
These are very true very real things that happened to me last year.
10. I learned how to find my boot size.
This was pretty dope. Learned from my cousins in Texas. One step closer to becoming a Real Cowboy.
9. Met Dacre Montgomery (Billy from the hit show Stranger Things) at the PCC Flea Market.
I ruined his day. 10/10 experience. Highly recommend.
8. Listened to “real” country music for the first time.
Life altering. Will never do it again.
7. Convinced people that I was Puerto Rican.
(I am Mexican.) The power trip I got from pulling the “Oh, so you think every Latino is Mexican? Just because I know Spanish, that makes me Mexican?” card was dangerously euphoric. No one could say otherwise or else they would run the risk of appearing horrifically ignorant. I could give George Santos a run for his money.
6. Almost had a breakdown because I thought Lil Uzi Vert was lying to me.
I mistook the lyric “I got two horns like a rhino” for “I got two hearts like a rhino”, and was heartbroken when I googled rhino anatomy and learned that they in fact only had one heart. It wasn’t until I checked the lyrics on Spotify that my faith in the overlord was restored. Crisis averted. (If I can’t trust Lil Uzi Vert who am I supposed to trust?)
5. Suffered through my driving instructor blasting songs titled “B******** Camaro” and “I’m Not Gay” after he tried to convince me that Kanye was just “being edgy”.
Yeah.
4. Was called “big daddy” while walking through Old Town.
The man couldn’t leave it well alone - he went on to explain how calling me “little daddy” wouldn’t have been nearly as funny as “big daddy”. Does this count as cat-calling? I’m not really sure. I’m just glad he was enjoying himself.
3. Got top comment on a TikTok which led to the creator ratio-ing me, and accusing me of having a foot fetish.
What can I say. My digital footprint is small but mighty.
2. Got banned from the Air Canada sub-Reddit after I “complained too much”.
The Canadians are not nearly as kind nor forgiving as one would expect.
1. Accidentally looked up porn on my dad's phone at a family gathering.
I cannot elaborate.
These are very true very real things that happened to me last year.
10. I learned how to find my boot size.
This was pretty dope. Learned from my cousins in Texas. One step closer to becoming a Real Cowboy.
9. Met Dacre Montgomery (Billy from the hit show Stranger Things) at the PCC Flea Market.
I ruined his day. 10/10 experience. Highly recommend.
8. Listened to “real” country music for the first time.
Life altering. Will never do it again.
7. Convinced people that I was Puerto Rican.
(I am Mexican.) The power trip I got from pulling the “Oh, so you think every Latino is Mexican? Just because I know Spanish, that makes me Mexican?” card was dangerously euphoric. No one could say otherwise or else they would run the risk of appearing horrifically ignorant. I could give George Santos a run for his money.
6. Almost had a breakdown because I thought Lil Uzi Vert was lying to me.
I mistook the lyric “I got two horns like a rhino” for “I got two hearts like a rhino”, and was heartbroken when I googled rhino anatomy and learned that they in fact only had one heart. It wasn’t until I checked the lyrics on Spotify that my faith in the overlord was restored. Crisis averted. (If I can’t trust Lil Uzi Vert who am I supposed to trust?)
5. Suffered through my driving instructor blasting songs titled “B******** Camaro” and “I’m Not Gay” after he tried to convince me that Kanye was just “being edgy”.
Yeah.
4. Was called “big daddy” while walking through Old Town.
The man couldn’t leave it well alone - he went on to explain how calling me “little daddy” wouldn’t have been nearly as funny as “big daddy”. Does this count as cat-calling? I’m not really sure. I’m just glad he was enjoying himself.
3. Got top comment on a TikTok which led to the creator ratio-ing me, and accusing me of having a foot fetish.
What can I say. My digital footprint is small but mighty.
2. Got banned from the Air Canada sub-Reddit after I “complained too much”.
The Canadians are not nearly as kind nor forgiving as one would expect.
1. Accidentally looked up porn on my dad's phone at a family gathering.
I cannot elaborate.
