it wouldn’t be a new year in the westridge upper school without the freshmen wondering their place in the social hierarchy. as a seasoned freshman myself, i’d like to offer up some advice, a peace offering of sorts.
you won’t need anything but these top tier tips to make it through your year!
1. write poetry for the pretty sophmore you’ve never interacted with before and read it aloud at town meeting
you won’t need anything but these top tier tips to make it through your year!
1. write poetry for the pretty sophmore you’ve never interacted with before and read it aloud at town meeting
that sophmore will probably fall head over heels after your bold confession! you’re definitely going to the winter formal with them.
2. linger uncomfortably close to the senior table
2. linger uncomfortably close to the senior table
bonus points if you sleep on the hammock when the seniors aren’t looking! you’ll definitely be that cool freshman who’s friends with all of them. happy napping!
3. for your newfound senior friends, begin every conversation with, “how’s the college process going?
3. for your newfound senior friends, begin every conversation with, “how’s the college process going?
they’ll definitely appreciate your concern and friendly reminder about their incomplete applications! Don’t worry, the seething rage in their eyes is just extreme gratitude.
4. wear a college sweatshirt every friday
4. wear a college sweatshirt every friday
i mean, it is free dress, right? the first amendment protects your right to go ahead and wear that UCLA hoodie from H&M. The reaction that might ensue gets you a head start on practicing that self defense, too!
5. don’t participate in spirit days
5. don’t participate in spirit days
because you’re so much cooler than that. everyone will love you even more if you publicly disparage dressing up to anyone participating. bring a megaphone and make fun of everyone trying their best to enjoy high school!
and that’s it! five simple tips to be a social juggernaut on westridge campus. to all the freshmen, you will do great, and this advice will solidify you as the coolest person around.
much love,
stomach acid
disclaimer: this will probably destroy any sort of previous social status you had, so don’t do this 😝 instead do your MLP two days before it’s due and never revise a single essay you turn in!
and that’s it! five simple tips to be a social juggernaut on westridge campus. to all the freshmen, you will do great, and this advice will solidify you as the coolest person around.
much love,
stomach acid
disclaimer: this will probably destroy any sort of previous social status you had, so don’t do this 😝 instead do your MLP two days before it’s due and never revise a single essay you turn in!