Hello again Thursday Detention. Here are my thoughts on some notorious campus rumors. 

PAC GHOST: 
For as long as I’ve been at Westridge (a long time) I’ve heard the rumor of the ghost who resides in PAC. From the mysterious moving black box frog to empty elevators, the ghost gets up to all kinds of shenanigans. So, who- or what- is the real culprit? Is there REALLY a ghost? Well the ghost, dear Detentioneers, is none other than a holograph of the famous band ABBA, fueled with rage at none other than Brandon Kruhm. It is true that Mr. Kruhm has directed many wonderful Westridge plays and musicals with much success; however one musical remains unperformed. One musical remains locked in a vault far away from Mr. Kruhm’s list of future productions, one musical that was even declared Westridge’s favorite after a school-wide vote, cannot win Mr. Kruhm’s heart. That very musical is Mamma Mia. ABBA became filled with RAGE that Mr. Kruhm would not put on their musical, and decided that the best way to deal with it was to haunt PAC, slowly pitting the performers and staff against each other. What a twisted scheme, ABBA. I swear I almost catch them in the act, but they’re always “Slipping Through My Fingers”. In the meantime, Mr. Kruhm should consider “Taking A Chance On” Mamma Mia, lest the “Winner Take It All” and ABBA finally pits the theatre department against each other. 

BATHROOM DOOR SQUEAK: 
The working theory pertaining to the origin of the infamous grating squeal is currently tied to the frequent stress-cries taking place within. Some theorize that the door’s scream exists because it has gained sentience, and empathizes with our struggles as students. The only way it can let out its frustration is through the loud shriek every time someone opens the door. Of course the more logical theory says it’s simply the tears of the unfortunate student body being absorbed into the door, rusting the hinges. Either way, we feel for you, door. Your agony will hopefully be diminished by the time the new semester begins.
 
COMMONS SMELL: 
Speaking of the Commons, many speak of a stench that seems to linger around the amphitheater and commons area. It seems to come and go, with a mind of its own. Many students have accepted the olfactory sensation as Westridge normalcy; however I refuse to stay silent. After much speculation, I’ve come to the conclusion that the stench is most likely a product of science department shenanigans. They huddle underground on the other side of the commons anyway, it wouldn’t be the most ridiculous thing EVER to assume that they have a secret passage to the other side. No more ridiculous than a screaming door, surely. Their strange experiments in their hideout make them superhumans; the most successful of these being Skop who gained extra stamina and became the track coach, and Autumn, who can now talk to cats and is boosted with excessive coolness. 

MR. HARRISON’S “PET DOG”: 
Trust me when I say it’s not a coincidence that Mr. Harrison’s dog was always off camera during the online history class of 2020. We never heard the dog, never had any evidence of the dog except for a few very unconvincing barks, half tuned out by the Teams background noise reducer. A dog reveal did happen but… nobody seems to agree on what the dog looks like. Rather suspicious if you ask me. His motives for faking such a ridiculous thing are unknown…for now. 


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