Some things are constant and reliable. Like how your dad will always have a copy of The Rise And Fall Of The Roman Empire, or the acrid fumes of the upstairs commons bathroom. Some things, however, are bound to change in shocking, appalling, and eye-widening ways.
Like the death of hamsters.
Hamsters, as a species, defy the very basic laws of natural selection. They're practically their own specimen of study, amongst credible scientists like renowned Buzzfeed author Nate (no last name). With their fragile hearts and even more fragile minds, hamsters are predisposed to a variety of different demises.
Today, I’ll be rating these devastating events of hamster fragility by obscurity (how rare), relatability (how relatable), nose-exhalability (how likely you are to breathe out your nose akin to a silent laugh upon reading it), and analogability (how easy it is to make into an analogy for your graded annotations in English.)
Alas. The hamster deaths keep ramping up. I can’t imagine the turmoil of becoming a refrigerator magnet. Shoutout to the hamsters out there, defying survival of the fittest. Live Laugh Love, Magnet.