People often speak of Man Lunch, but what of Man Bathroom? More often than not I spot our favorite celebrity couple walking together – hands brushing – as they head to the PAC bathroom. Across campus, down the stairs, through the gallery, and then – poof – into the bathroom.
But what really is IN the men’s PAC bathroom?
Have we ever actually seen what’s inside???
Why do they always go together?
And – if I may be so direct – why are they in there for SO LONG??
Being the good Thursday Detention reporter that I am, I’ve surveyed and interviewed our student body. Here is what students think is inside the men’s PAC bathroom (sources remain anonymous for the protection of their “nonexistent” GPAs.)
But what really is IN the men’s PAC bathroom?
Have we ever actually seen what’s inside???
Why do they always go together?
And – if I may be so direct – why are they in there for SO LONG??
Being the good Thursday Detention reporter that I am, I’ve surveyed and interviewed our student body. Here is what students think is inside the men’s PAC bathroom (sources remain anonymous for the protection of their “nonexistent” GPAs.)
- There’s a jungle gym. Much like that of a McDonald’s play space. In fact, McDonalds play spaces were actually inspired by this very men’s bathroom jungle gym. For those of you who hear of this magical place and are jealous let me say: YES, YOU SHOULD BE. This is misogyny in its most abhorrent form. A strike should be had. Get it done.
- Their own yoga studio. That’s why they haven’t been going to the faculty yoga classes led by Ms. Seiberling! They’ve got their very own! And they’ve outfitted the sink into a trickling, peaceful fountain.
- What lies inside is really a two-person faculty lounge. Only allowed in are Raines and Harrison. You’ll find two old brown chairs and one Nespresso machine. The sink remains - but only for water for the Nespresso machine.
- TARDIS. The blue phone box from Doctor Who. They travel through time. But mostly into the past. They make the future.
- They hoard lost items from the costume shop.
- In the center of the room is a catwalk which they practice their runway strut on. They’ve been preparing for a fashion show but are too modest to advertise.
- A laboratory. For what? We may never know ;]