Earlier this year, I was sitting innocently enough in the Main Hall when something caught my eye: amidst the pile of packages beside Coker’s office lay a slender, unassuming box of—prepare yourself--guillotine trimmers.
What are guillotine trimmers for? Trimming the blades of guillotines, of course. At a certain point, hitting enough flesh and bone causes the blade to begin to dull, at which point the trimmer is pulled out to cut off the dulled and chipped edge, preparing the blade to be resharpened. What need does Westridge have for a guillotine trimmer? That is where the mystery lies. It requires little deductive skill to safely say that Westridge has a guillotine hidden away somewhere; after all, what is a guillotine trimmer without its guillotine? What, then, is the purpose of Westridge’s guillotine?
Guillotines were, as you well know, the weapon of choice for the French Revolution, a time of bursting knowledge, rationalist cults, and acorn-based calendar days. Many a good man met their end beneath the plummeting blade. Indeed no man could be considered absolutely safe; guillotines took blood with equal enthusiasm from those that had once worked them. The guillotine is the ultimate symbol of Revolution.
It does not take an especially perceptive man to tell that hackles are raised. Parental pressure, academic competition, and looming time crunches have pushed some to engage in drastic methods in order to survive the bloodthirsty school environment. A wider America faces a time of intense economic struggle, accompanied by rising discontentment amongst the working class. The wealth disparity is ever-increasing, and while the richest Americans watch over the endless sprawl of their fortunes, many workers across the nation—in every kind of profession—find themselves continually fighting to pay the bills. The Westridge Student is only one reflection of the greater American struggle to stay afloat.
So there is no doubt that tensions are high—and when tensions are high, thoughts of revolution begin to surface. It just may be that Westridge is preparing for its own revolution, an upheaval of the system, a radical cry for change, a plead for a school that works for us. Whether this revolution is a student or faculty-and-staff effort remains to be seen. On the other hand, the guillotine may just be the History Department’s latest simulation game. Perhaps they have tired of their World War I simulation—Nurovia forever—and are beginning to look towards a game that will be a little more...hands-on. As a three-time witness to the World War I game, I can attest to the unadulterated rage and passion that arises when your supposed ally announces they are going to war against you; I cannot imagine the bloodbath that might ensue should guillotines be brought in for a French Revolution simulation. I for one say that we put God under the blade. Long live the Cult of the Supreme Being!