Hello Thursday Detention Reader. Between my last article and now, I saw the Five Nights at Freddy’s movie and have been gifted with the power to see the future. Whether the two events are related, I am unsure. However, I have approached the Stallstreet personnel about this ability, for they do horoscopes every so often, but they dismissed me immediately. Therefore, I will have no choice but to present my astrological findings to you through this article. I bring you only the truth, and any complaints you have can be taken up with Freddy Fazbear and Freddie Mercury, who I heard is always in retrograde. You're killing it, Queen.
Aries:
December – You HAVE to shorten your holiday gift list.
January – Have fun with that New Year’s fling ;)
February – You and the New Year’s fling will have some issues, but it will be okay.
March – You will find an unlikely animal friend.
April – Have a meeting with your advisor. They miss you.
May – Get a trim, or cut all your hair off. I can’t stop you.
Taurus:
December – The low-waisted pants are NOT a look.
January – On the 16th, eat life cereal for breakfast.
February – Love and Light.
March – Be prepared for some good news!!
April – 🎶hor hor hor hor hor, hor hor hor hor hor🎶
May – The chances are low, but not zero…
Gemini:
December – Commit to the bit.
January – Eat more pretzels. The square ones hit DIFFERENT.
February – Visit Barnes and Noble.
March – Hug your best friend.
April – Wear funny socks on the 20th.
May – YOUR OUTFITS ARE INCREDIBLE. Keep it up queens 👑
Cancer:
December – Try to branch out more.
January – You’ll get over it.
February – You’ll find a REALLY cool piece of clothing that you like. Buy it. Treat yourself.
March - Someone who’s name starts with an A likes you…
April - They don’t like you anymore, you missed your chance.
May – Follow the actions of Travis Kelce very closely…
Leo:
December – It’s all a game of chess.
January – Vow to be nicer to Gemini as a New Year’s resolution.
February – I’m sorry.
March – Go watch SpongeBob: The Musical at Westridge.
April – Watch out for the large purple bear from the Latin room.
May – (This one is only for Ivy) – Your skin is clear; your crops are watered. You are fresh and fun.
Virgo:
December – In the words of Camila Cabello, you should be home for chquizmoius
January – Learn how to draw hyper-realistically.
February – Don’t trust Sagittarius, they’re up to something.
March – Shake Shack sounds reallllyyyy good.
April – Wear your Halloween costume to school again, for the hell of it.
May – get new glasses.
Libra:
December – Write a letter to the C.E.O. of Starbucks proposing a new holiday drink.
January – Follow the Westridge 2024 tiktok.
February – Go with your gut.
March – It is not “romantic”, they are IGNORING YOU.
April – You will lose at tic tac toe.
May – Ask Mr. Harrison to prom.
Scorpio:
December – Put your holiday decorations up. Not for Christmas. For St. Patrick’s day.
January – Congratulations!
February – Go with Libra’s gut.
March – you will beat 2048 this month.
April - Get a new phone case.
May – Take your holiday decorations down.
Sagittarius:
December – You get one free pass to mansplain. Use it wisely.
January – Up your stationary game.
February – Virgo likes it when you watch them from afar. So romantic…
March – Do your history reading.
April – Beware the rat man.
May – Listen to 1989 Taylor’s Version again.
Capricorn:
December – Drink more milk.
January – Your eyebrows are slaying, don’t listen to what anyone tells you.
February – Embrace your inner guitar bro.
March – If you feel sad, ask Pisces for some eggs.
April – Re-read Percy Jackson.
May – make a friendship bracelet for Aquarius!
Aquarius:
December – Don’t spend so much money getting your friends gifts!!! You should know they love you.
January – take out your biiiiig fluffy coat from the closet. You will be cold.
February – Get those cute boots.
March – Talk to your dad. He loves you <3 (if you don’t have a dad, watch The Last of Us to replicate that feeling.)
April – This is a sign to switch out the water in your room.
May – Make a friendship bracelet for Capricorn!
Pisces:
December - You’re too hard on yourself.
January – Go see the winter showcase.
February – Study the topography of the San Fernando valley.
March – Learn how to cook an egg in 5 different ways. You’ll need it.
April – You will reconnect with a friend from ages ago.
May – I apologize in advance for the allergies you’ll have this month.
Aries:
December – You HAVE to shorten your holiday gift list.
January – Have fun with that New Year’s fling ;)
February – You and the New Year’s fling will have some issues, but it will be okay.
March – You will find an unlikely animal friend.
April – Have a meeting with your advisor. They miss you.
May – Get a trim, or cut all your hair off. I can’t stop you.
Taurus:
December – The low-waisted pants are NOT a look.
January – On the 16th, eat life cereal for breakfast.
February – Love and Light.
March – Be prepared for some good news!!
April – 🎶hor hor hor hor hor, hor hor hor hor hor🎶
May – The chances are low, but not zero…
Gemini:
December – Commit to the bit.
January – Eat more pretzels. The square ones hit DIFFERENT.
February – Visit Barnes and Noble.
March – Hug your best friend.
April – Wear funny socks on the 20th.
May – YOUR OUTFITS ARE INCREDIBLE. Keep it up queens 👑
Cancer:
December – Try to branch out more.
January – You’ll get over it.
February – You’ll find a REALLY cool piece of clothing that you like. Buy it. Treat yourself.
March - Someone who’s name starts with an A likes you…
April - They don’t like you anymore, you missed your chance.
May – Follow the actions of Travis Kelce very closely…
Leo:
December – It’s all a game of chess.
January – Vow to be nicer to Gemini as a New Year’s resolution.
February – I’m sorry.
March – Go watch SpongeBob: The Musical at Westridge.
April – Watch out for the large purple bear from the Latin room.
May – (This one is only for Ivy) – Your skin is clear; your crops are watered. You are fresh and fun.
Virgo:
December – In the words of Camila Cabello, you should be home for chquizmoius
January – Learn how to draw hyper-realistically.
February – Don’t trust Sagittarius, they’re up to something.
March – Shake Shack sounds reallllyyyy good.
April – Wear your Halloween costume to school again, for the hell of it.
May – get new glasses.
Libra:
December – Write a letter to the C.E.O. of Starbucks proposing a new holiday drink.
January – Follow the Westridge 2024 tiktok.
February – Go with your gut.
March – It is not “romantic”, they are IGNORING YOU.
April – You will lose at tic tac toe.
May – Ask Mr. Harrison to prom.
Scorpio:
December – Put your holiday decorations up. Not for Christmas. For St. Patrick’s day.
January – Congratulations!
February – Go with Libra’s gut.
March – you will beat 2048 this month.
April - Get a new phone case.
May – Take your holiday decorations down.
Sagittarius:
December – You get one free pass to mansplain. Use it wisely.
January – Up your stationary game.
February – Virgo likes it when you watch them from afar. So romantic…
March – Do your history reading.
April – Beware the rat man.
May – Listen to 1989 Taylor’s Version again.
Capricorn:
December – Drink more milk.
January – Your eyebrows are slaying, don’t listen to what anyone tells you.
February – Embrace your inner guitar bro.
March – If you feel sad, ask Pisces for some eggs.
April – Re-read Percy Jackson.
May – make a friendship bracelet for Aquarius!
Aquarius:
December – Don’t spend so much money getting your friends gifts!!! You should know they love you.
January – take out your biiiiig fluffy coat from the closet. You will be cold.
February – Get those cute boots.
March – Talk to your dad. He loves you <3 (if you don’t have a dad, watch The Last of Us to replicate that feeling.)
April – This is a sign to switch out the water in your room.
May – Make a friendship bracelet for Capricorn!
Pisces:
December - You’re too hard on yourself.
January – Go see the winter showcase.
February – Study the topography of the San Fernando valley.
March – Learn how to cook an egg in 5 different ways. You’ll need it.
April – You will reconnect with a friend from ages ago.
May – I apologize in advance for the allergies you’ll have this month.
