Spork's Thoughts:
Let me get the obvious out of the way, the film was beautiful. Sure there were those scenes that would be uncomfortable to watch with your parents, I’d even dare to say they were uncomfortable to watch on your own! I’m referring to the cinematography though when describing Saltburn as “beautiful”. The 4:3 aspect ratio gave it gravitas; seeing the two black rectangles framing the screen on the sides told you “You’re watching something special." The composition, the lighting, the color grading. It wasn’t your mother’s Avengers blockbuster. And yet…something felt off.
The first ⅔ of the movie I spent drafting my passive-aggressively disappointed 3 stars Letterboxd review. What was all the hype about? And then it goes off the rails. Like sure, we knew Ollie was a little odd. But the vampire scene with Venetia and then his nonconsensual (how does one phrase this so we can still publish this article) interaction with Farleigh proved his eccentricity. I was watching and thinking “who is this guy?” And then he’s sad at his own birthday party, because he lied about his whole life to his best friend, a British-accented, eyebrow-piercing-hiding, tall-Australian-guy Elordi. Oh shit! And then Felix (Elordi’s character) dies! Oh no! Funeral funeral. His sister dies. Funeral funeral. Many years pass, Oliver meets Elordi’s mom Elspeth – the best, most pretentious sounding name that could ever have been chosen – at a coffee shop. They briefly chat. Rosamund Pike drops the saddest line. I wanted to cry. I wanted my heart to break when she looked at Ollie and said, almost surprised, “you grew up”. But I felt nothing. I kept thinking about that line though, how good it was. It’s so simple yet carries so much weight. So, why didn’t it hurt?
Perhaps, I watched Saltburn too tired, that is in my bed at 9pm on Amazon Prime (yes I get tired at 9pm get over it.) Yet, even in my exhaustion, I was aware of how much the dialogue pissed me off. More times than I can count, Oliver says either to Felix or Farleigh something along the lines of “we’re different.” Like yes we get it. We got it the first time! We got it from hearing about Oliver’s traumatic childhood (which he lied about?!) We got it when Oliver struggled to pay for drinks at the bar (which he lied about?!) We got it from the nasty comments Felix’s situationship made. We got it from seeing Felix’s house, the infamous Saltburn. There really was no need to say it, at least not more than once. Whatever happened to “show don’t tell?"
And the twist! Arguably the best part of the movie. It’s what made the movie a movie and not just a cute story about a lonely boy staying at his new best friend’s estate during the summer. Yet the way they revealed it gave me the impression that they didn’t trust the audience at all. Oliver mentions that all the deaths weren’t accidents, and without giving the audience a moment to process what he just said, they jumped straight into the montage of him doing evil things (I love a good montage, don’t get me wrong, and that was a pretty great montage!) The pacing ruined the reveal. You know that moment when a plot twist happens and your mind is blown and your perception of the whole story and the characters change? I never got that moment. The plot twist happened, and before my mind could be blown or before I had the time to realize that all the assumptions I made about the story and characters were completely wrong, they showed me a play-by-play of his actions. No breathing room! No thinking room! I mean the best part of a plot twist is when everything changes right? And it’s so disappointing when you don’t experience that catharsis. It felt almost patronizing.
Saltburn tried so hard. It looked pretentious in the best way. But it didn’t trust its audience. It didn’t think we’d have the capacity to understand Oliver’s lower socioeconomic status compared to Felix and Farleigh. It didn't give us the credit to realize that Oliver played the titular role of all this mayhem. So before we could come to the conclusion ourselves, they shoved it in our face. That dissonance between the film’s facade and its function, ie: its composition and its dialogue, creates a very condescending tone lacking any substance.
I finished the movie thinking about what caused this disappointment and not unpacking Oliver’s actions. The latter being presumably the question the movie wanted to leave you with.
stomach acid's Contribution:
Speaking of unpacking Oliver’s actions, what the hell! You just expect me, a citizen of the world, to not question why he’s literally crazy for no reason? I call Male Audacity. I would bet 5 gallons of period blood a woman would never do this kind of insane stuff. It’s balderdash!
I also feel this plot has been exhausted in the past couple years. We get it, rich people bad, lets eat 'em (out!) Emerald Fennell seems to take a liking to this weird psychosexual stuff, and I’m just here wondering what her mind palace looks like, and how much of it is filled with fanfiction.
What to put in Saltburn instead of the grave scene:
Post Saltburn things to check out:
Hey Bear Sensory - The Totally Fruit and Veggie Stream!
5 Signs that You Need Therapy! | Kati Morton
Best Saltburn /Jacob Elordi & Barry Keoghan Tiktok Edits
BetterHelp
Let me get the obvious out of the way, the film was beautiful. Sure there were those scenes that would be uncomfortable to watch with your parents, I’d even dare to say they were uncomfortable to watch on your own! I’m referring to the cinematography though when describing Saltburn as “beautiful”. The 4:3 aspect ratio gave it gravitas; seeing the two black rectangles framing the screen on the sides told you “You’re watching something special." The composition, the lighting, the color grading. It wasn’t your mother’s Avengers blockbuster. And yet…something felt off.
The first ⅔ of the movie I spent drafting my passive-aggressively disappointed 3 stars Letterboxd review. What was all the hype about? And then it goes off the rails. Like sure, we knew Ollie was a little odd. But the vampire scene with Venetia and then his nonconsensual (how does one phrase this so we can still publish this article) interaction with Farleigh proved his eccentricity. I was watching and thinking “who is this guy?” And then he’s sad at his own birthday party, because he lied about his whole life to his best friend, a British-accented, eyebrow-piercing-hiding, tall-Australian-guy Elordi. Oh shit! And then Felix (Elordi’s character) dies! Oh no! Funeral funeral. His sister dies. Funeral funeral. Many years pass, Oliver meets Elordi’s mom Elspeth – the best, most pretentious sounding name that could ever have been chosen – at a coffee shop. They briefly chat. Rosamund Pike drops the saddest line. I wanted to cry. I wanted my heart to break when she looked at Ollie and said, almost surprised, “you grew up”. But I felt nothing. I kept thinking about that line though, how good it was. It’s so simple yet carries so much weight. So, why didn’t it hurt?
Perhaps, I watched Saltburn too tired, that is in my bed at 9pm on Amazon Prime (yes I get tired at 9pm get over it.) Yet, even in my exhaustion, I was aware of how much the dialogue pissed me off. More times than I can count, Oliver says either to Felix or Farleigh something along the lines of “we’re different.” Like yes we get it. We got it the first time! We got it from hearing about Oliver’s traumatic childhood (which he lied about?!) We got it when Oliver struggled to pay for drinks at the bar (which he lied about?!) We got it from the nasty comments Felix’s situationship made. We got it from seeing Felix’s house, the infamous Saltburn. There really was no need to say it, at least not more than once. Whatever happened to “show don’t tell?"
And the twist! Arguably the best part of the movie. It’s what made the movie a movie and not just a cute story about a lonely boy staying at his new best friend’s estate during the summer. Yet the way they revealed it gave me the impression that they didn’t trust the audience at all. Oliver mentions that all the deaths weren’t accidents, and without giving the audience a moment to process what he just said, they jumped straight into the montage of him doing evil things (I love a good montage, don’t get me wrong, and that was a pretty great montage!) The pacing ruined the reveal. You know that moment when a plot twist happens and your mind is blown and your perception of the whole story and the characters change? I never got that moment. The plot twist happened, and before my mind could be blown or before I had the time to realize that all the assumptions I made about the story and characters were completely wrong, they showed me a play-by-play of his actions. No breathing room! No thinking room! I mean the best part of a plot twist is when everything changes right? And it’s so disappointing when you don’t experience that catharsis. It felt almost patronizing.
Saltburn tried so hard. It looked pretentious in the best way. But it didn’t trust its audience. It didn’t think we’d have the capacity to understand Oliver’s lower socioeconomic status compared to Felix and Farleigh. It didn't give us the credit to realize that Oliver played the titular role of all this mayhem. So before we could come to the conclusion ourselves, they shoved it in our face. That dissonance between the film’s facade and its function, ie: its composition and its dialogue, creates a very condescending tone lacking any substance.
I finished the movie thinking about what caused this disappointment and not unpacking Oliver’s actions. The latter being presumably the question the movie wanted to leave you with.
stomach acid's Contribution:
Speaking of unpacking Oliver’s actions, what the hell! You just expect me, a citizen of the world, to not question why he’s literally crazy for no reason? I call Male Audacity. I would bet 5 gallons of period blood a woman would never do this kind of insane stuff. It’s balderdash!
I also feel this plot has been exhausted in the past couple years. We get it, rich people bad, lets eat 'em (out!) Emerald Fennell seems to take a liking to this weird psychosexual stuff, and I’m just here wondering what her mind palace looks like, and how much of it is filled with fanfiction.
What to put in Saltburn instead of the grave scene:
- Nothing.
- Literally anything else
Post Saltburn things to check out:
Hey Bear Sensory - The Totally Fruit and Veggie Stream!
5 Signs that You Need Therapy! | Kati Morton
Best Saltburn /Jacob Elordi & Barry Keoghan Tiktok Edits
BetterHelp
