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Criminal Minds Breakdown
by knee

After finally finishing all 15 seasons of Criminal Minds (I am late to the party, I know), I feel like I am well-versed enough in crime-solving television episodes to breakdown the Netflix show for a newcomer. Here’s how practically every episode in criminal minds goes.


Step 1: Someone is sleeping, the house is dark.
Step 2: Said sleeping victim is brutally killed. Oh no!
Step 3: Don’t worry. Luckily, there is a team full of specialized agents who fight crime. This fantastic team consists of a bearded Italian, Sid the Science Kid, a guy with abs, Wednesday from the Adams Family, Slenderman, Trisha Paytas, and Reese Witherspoon.
Step 4: The Team finds a suspect for the murder
Step 5: Said suspect is not at all related to the crime.
Step 6: Someone else dies.
Step 7: Murderer is caught via luring with extortion. 
Step 8: Episode ends with a middle aged man reciting a vague Shakespearean quote.
Step 9: Screen goes black, blood has been shed, and viewer is left often confused +scarred. 

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