I usually tune into the Golden Globes for the same reasons I do any other awards show: to question people’s outfit choices and do a radar scan for Hollywood’s blatant favoritism for straight white people. Let me tell you, the 2021 Golden Globes hit the jackpot! Let’s start with my all time favorite musical adaptation, The Prom. I am not a gay man, but I am a cancer, so I am capable of immense empathy. If I had James Corden as my queer representation of the year, I might fear for the future. Not only is James Corden straight, but he is also British. Help me God, can the gays have anything?
Speaking of really weird queer representation, let’s talk about the nominated dark comedy, I Care a Lot. More like I care a lot about empty #girlboss idioms and scamming old people. The plot follows legal guardian Marla Grayson played by Rosamund Pike as she literally uses legal loopholes to steal from senior citizens, all while blowing some fat clouds out of her comically humongous vape. The only effort made to humanize her is the fact that she is a feminist and also gay. As a gay feminist, I am not falling for it. This movie was directed by a bald white man with a pedophile mustache. I will not be taken for a fool, egg man!
Speaking of really weird queer representation, let’s talk about the nominated dark comedy, I Care a Lot. More like I care a lot about empty #girlboss idioms and scamming old people. The plot follows legal guardian Marla Grayson played by Rosamund Pike as she literally uses legal loopholes to steal from senior citizens, all while blowing some fat clouds out of her comically humongous vape. The only effort made to humanize her is the fact that she is a feminist and also gay. As a gay feminist, I am not falling for it. This movie was directed by a bald white man with a pedophile mustache. I will not be taken for a fool, egg man!
Let’s move on to Emily in Paris. This show was a phenomenon and I’ll admit, I watched the whole thing with a smile on my face. That being said, if this propaganda can be critically acclaimed, then so can my YouTube makeup tutorials from 6th grade. Emily lives out her days in her provided top floor Parisian apartment falling in love with sexy french chefs who have sexy french girlfriends. Where is the conflict? Where is the drama? Why is she wearing a red floral fedora? This show is great for a good chuckle, but the Golden Globe nomination kind of takes the joke a step too far for me.
But the issues don't end there. Sia’s highly controversial and offensive movie Music managed to get a nomination despite the continuous backlash from autistic activists and basically anyone else who can recognize ableism. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association who puts on the ceremony is also receiving a lot of backlash for having no members of color. Golden Globes, please get your life together. My perception of reality is already skewed, and I don’t need your shenanigans lurking in the back of my brain. Really though, if you tuned into the spacetime continuum tear that was the Golden Globes, you have probably experienced the end of the world. We are all actually dead, and Marla Grayson’s giant vape killed us.
Sources and further reading:
https://www.elle.com.au/fashion/emily-in-paris-fashion-24124
https://nypost.com/2021/02/23/golden-globes-confirms-it-has-no-black-voters-amid-shocking-snubs/
https://collider.com/rosamund-pike-i-care-a-lot-vape-pen-meaning-explained/ ** this was actually an interesting interview not gonna lie
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/11/movies/sia-music-autism-backlash.html
https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/features/sia-music-film-autism-maddie-ziegler-b1806871.html